23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

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Ah, the ever so entertaining roommate. No matter if you have one or five other people living in your home, there’s bound to be some interesting stories that come from your humble abode. Personalities eventually clash, you’ll get on each other’s nerves, and you’ll think on more than one occasion, “Why the f*ck did I agree to having a roommate(s)?”

The biggest answer to that question is: cheaper rent. Yeah, most of us aren’t as grown as we think or hope we are, so roommates are the best option. Guess dealing with another person in your space has to be worth the ridiculously cheap rent. Oh, and also finding out the little secrets about them that no one else knows is a huge plus, too.

Walls are pretty thin in most places, especially the homes where rent is so cheap. Personal conversations and awkward situations can be easily interpreted through walls even when your roommate doesn’t think you’re up listening. Spoiler alert: you probably are and the safest best is to wait until you’re alone at home. Or are you even safe at home alone? These days, probably not. Just assume that your roommate probably knows some of your secrets and could probably blackmail you, if need be. Just keep paying rent and bills on time and you shouldn’t have a problem.

These 23 roommates share secrets their roomie doesn’t think they know:


On two separate occasions, my roommate has borrowed my camera to take pictures of herself and a girl she was with, and forgotten to swap the memory cards right away. Both times I found out completely accidentally. Yes, those kind of pictures. I saw everything.


I share a room with my best friend of two years. Every night I can hear her violently masturbating. I’ve never said anything, but it’s really awkward when you wake up in the middle of the night to hear that.


Mine once masturbated with my tanning lotion, the cracks of his hands were orange for a week.


Had a roommate, he was your typical bro type, got drunk a lot, played video games, kinda loud and obnoxious, but generally a really nice dude. One night I went over to my girlfriends house, told him I was going to spend the night, but ended up arguing with her so I went back home around 2 in the morning. I walked into the house and heard multiple moaning and slapping sounds. I go into the dining room, and right on the floor he’s seriously getting pounded, rotisserie style, by two huge black guys. I just turned around and left, went to my friends house down the street and slept on his couch.

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.