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23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

9.

I have walked into my room and seen one of my roommates, when he’s alone in the room, have to quickly pull up his pants as I walk in. There’s a small alcove that leads into the room so he has time to do it, but I know that if I don’t see my other roommate as I’m walking in, I deliberately slow down so he has time to pull up his pants.

10.

One day, I found the house dog chewing up on some plastic thing in the living room. That was the day I found out that one of my roommates had a very realistic life-sized fake p*ssy.

11.

I had a roommate who was extremely conservative. Whenever his girlfriend came over for any reason, she would sneak in and, if caught, would avoid eye contact. That said, this was extremely rare. He probably saw his girlfriend once or twice a week even though we all went to the same college and she lived just a couple of minutes away. He had a few friends, though. They were pretty nice guys, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was some weird sh*t going on. One day, a friend of his was spending a few days in our apartment and I came home early. I saw the roommate’s car in front, so I went to ask him about utility money he owed me but I stopped at the door. I could hear him and his friend showering together. I’m almost positive he’s a severely repressed homosexual.

12.

Not current, but former roommate. She was excessively obese and smelly.. She had this small dog she loved. She accidently crushed it to death in her sleep. I walked in her room to bitch about something she’d done and it was.. You could tell what happened. She was still asleep so I locked my room and left for a few hours. I came home and she played it very well.. Pretending her dog ran away and she left the door open and couldn’t find him. I went along with it, even helped her make posters.
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Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.