entertainment

23 Worst Things That Have Happened In A Movie Theater

17.

I went to a Taylor Swift sing along at a movie theater because I’m a loser. They show her music videos on a big screen. The event was chalk full of girls from 6-13 and their moms, so it wasn’t as exciting as I had hoped. But one thing that happened? They decided it would be a good idea to show the 50 Shades Darker trailer at the beginning. A lot of really angry moms and confused kids. I thought it was hilarious but dang those moms flipped a shit, definitely not their favorite movie experience.

18.

I had the hots for this guy but was too much of a pussy to ask him out. So instead, I invited him and the rest of our youth group to meet up at the movies. Figured that when he got there I’d make a move on him, finally. He rocked up late, that was fine. What wasn’t fine: he rocked up with the new, pretty girl in our youth group. They took the row directly in front of me, and proceeded to spend the next 2 hours sucking face while I seethed with jealousy. Went home and cried. The End.

19.

I was working the projectors when I got a call from my other manager over the radio. He was very happy & said, “Hey, we have an issue in theater 4, can you come down & handle it?” I get down there & he is smiling ear to ear. He tells me that people are complaining because a couple is having sex in the top corner of the theater. This is a 4pm Saturday showing of Batman Begins. There are probably 65 people in there. I walk in & a dozen different customers tell me where they are sitting. I go up there & tell them both to get up. The guy gets up first & then the girl. She then reaches down & pulls up her pants. We get outside & I tell them we are kicking them out.

20.

Before the movie started, I don’t know what precipitated this, but a man standing in the aisle started throwing punches at a person sitting down, whom I really couldn’t see. A ten year old boy was pulling on the aggressor’s jacket, saying, “Dad! Dad! Stop!” I figured it he was beating on his wife, so I went to the lobby and told an usher, who raised her eyebrows and shrugged. I said, “Please call the police.” She rolled her eyes and picked up the phone. When the police arrived they kicked out the puncher, the kid, and the person who was getting punched. Another time I went to that same theater, they told me they couldn’t sell me a ticket because they just got robbed five minutes prior.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.