25 Flight Attendants Talk About Their Most Obnoxious Passengers

16.

New-ish flight attendant here. Been flying less than a year total. So far the worst I’ve had was two guys getting screaming at each other arguing about overhead bin space during boarding. We took a delay because of them.

17.

Guy watching full on hardcore porn. Mom’s changing babies at their seat. Passengers treating me like I’m beneath them. But it’s a great job.

18.

My aunt worked as an “air stewardess” for a few years in the 80’s. Her most memorable passenger was on a 1.5 hour evening flight. Visibly inebriated, he sang The Star Spangled Banner, God Bless America, and a couple of verses from Yankee Doodle for a while (30 minutes or so) before passing out until landing. This already sounds strange, but the fact that it took place on an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to St. Petersburg (then Leningrad) makes it even weirder.

19.

My godmother tells a story of how, when she was an air hostess, a businessman in first class was very insistent that she join him in the bathroom. She reported this to her very male, very gay, cabin supervisor who proceeded to grab the man by the arm and very loudly offer his services if the man really wanted a cabin crew member. He declined for some reason.

20.

My mom was a Pan Am flight attendant for many years. She’s told me lots of crazy stories, but the one I remember right now was the time she had Marlon Brando on her plane. This was when he was still handsome Brando and not weirdo obese Brando. She said he told dirty jokes the whole time and after each time he would slap his knee really hard and guffaw. She liked him, but when he was leaving the plane and giving her a big old hug she said his tummy felt like jello. I guess obese Brando was just waiting to pop out.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.