dating

25 People Confess The Moment They Realized Their SO Was A Complete Idiot

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Love can make any rational person overlook certain personality traits that might otherwise irritate, befuddle, or make you roll your eyes. Like when bae looks at you in all seriousness and asks what an eclipse is called when the sun passes between the moon and earth. An apocalypse, Becky — a motherf*cking apocalypse. It's crazy how that d*ck and p*ssy can mesmerize, AMIRITE?!

Maybe your lover has a huge d*ck  some great other qualities, but sometimes you just have to wonder what's keeping you in the relationship every time they say something that's ineffably idiotic. Sure, they might be kind and great with your friends and give good head, but how do you live with someone who thinks Alaska is really right next to Hawaii?? Maybe we should blame the American educational system and work to understand and accept your partner and all of their shortcomings. Or maybe you should run out of that relationship quicker than a dude who just got asked “what are we?” — because sometimes, the idiocy is just too far gone.

Let us pour one out for all of the girlfriends and boyfriends of those who think that some people can breathe underwater through their ears (if they just try really hard, you know?). And let us pray for the husbands and wives of those who think that giraffes lay eggs, that wireless printers don't need to be plugged into a power outlet, or those who SWEAR that “The Blair Witch Project” actually happened. I just really hope the sex is absolutely worth it.

These 25 people found out they were dating complete idiots in the most hilarious (and ridiculously stupid) ways:

1.

When she told me, quite seriously, that wind is made by trees. You know, because they sway around which pushes the air around and thus makes wind. She was not kidding.

2.

I bought him a new watch and it was water resistant. I told him I wanted to see him wearing it at the pool when we go do laps. He did two laps, got out, took off his watch and came back to the pool. I asked him why he took it off. I thought maybe it was uncomfortable. He told me it was water resistant “up to 100 meters” so he took it off after two 50 meter laps.

3.

My husband told me that he never slept in hotel sheets because they “never washed them.” So instead, he would wrap himself up in the comforter and sleep in that. The big fluffy comforter.

4.

My wife spent two hours installing a wireless printer because she didn't plug it in. “But it's wireless!” She also cashed a check and when they asked if she wanted big or small bills she said regular size.

5.

We were talking about eating better, and the food pyramid, and how thats what they use to teach us in school. We arrive at things we like to eat, and where it falls in the food groups, and the conversation goes like this: Her: “I love eggs, I'm glad that the veggies section was always so big” Me: “Wait… what? Veggies? What?” Her: “Actually… what are eggs anyway? They're… vegetables right? Yeah they are vegetables.” This woman has a Masters Degree.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.