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25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of

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When two (or three or five or — okay, chill the f*ck out, y’all) people decide to bump uglies, the expectation is for smooth R&B jams to ease the foreplay in, for no one to fumble around looking for holes or pleasure points or knock their teeth together, and that everyone involved will orgasm and high five after the boinking has finished. What a wonderful world that would be, right?

But listen up, folks — the world (and most sex) doesn’t work like that. Sometimes, you don’t even have another person to get freaky with so you end up getting hella freaky with yourself. And there ain’t no shame in that game. My right hand has gotten me through quite the lonely winter of 2015. But when sex acts go wrong, they can go REALLY wrong. And I’m not just talking about that time you wrapped a fruit roll-up around your boyfriend’s d*ck and tried to suck it off. No — I’m talking about the cringeworthy moments that make you wince in shame.

Maybe it was that time you came super hard when the urologist was doing an exam on your junk. That was literally the most action you’d gotten in a year, and you never even got his first name. Sorry, Doc! Or perhaps it was the time you had sex with a bro when you had a little bit of a stomach bug and accidentally sh*t all over his dick when he thrust too hard. Never trust a fart, y’all. Never.

These 25 people are super ashamed of these embarrassing sexual encounters:


1.

Had girlfriend’s little brother walk in while I was cumming in his sister’s mouth. He waved at me because he didn’t realize what was happening at first. All I could think to do was wave back…. while cumming.

2.

Had a wet dream on an airplane. I was sitting in the middle seat.

3.

High school GF decided to punch me in the face to make our third time having sex last longer. It ended right then as I went limp in sheer surprise.

4.

Urologist made me cum. Hard. Fucking embarrassing.

5.

Accidentally shitting a little because the guy I was dating at the time convinced me to have sex while I had the stomach bug. It wasn’t anal or anything, he just thrust really hard and I guess I lost control. I was mortified and left immediately.
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Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.