dating

These 25 People Got Hit On At The Worst Moments

17.

At a hackathon (computer programming competition). My team was spread out because our shit everywhere put some space between us, so it probably looked like I was alone. A guy who was probably really just there for the alcohol and food comes up to me while I was working and gives me some shitty pickup line about how I he’d like to see me use this focused face on his dick. Before I could get a word in, the asshole then offers to teach me “this complex computer stuff.” I then stop, turn around to look at him, and ask him “Yeah, I could use some help. I seem to have accidentally imported an misogynistic asshole. How do I remove it?”

18.

A guy who had been coming into my work (chocolate shop) repeatedly always asking for free samples, but never buying anything, came in one day with porn DVDs and asked if me and/or my coworker wanted to join him. He then proceeded to not understand why we called security to escort him out of the building.

19.

Lawyers office while doing divorce paperwork. We were both there getting divorces. Thought it was weird. He was also a lot older than I was at the time.

20.

My close friend’s new husband (about 3 months into their marriage) told me that I was his perfect woman, he knew the minute he laid eyes on me that I was what he’d searched for his whole life (he was about 50, I was in my early 40’s). Not only had we had a total of maybe 2 conversations up to this point, but he told me this at her funeral. She had died in a sudden, tragic accident and he said this to me next to her coffin. I chalked it up to trauma and stress, but never spoke to him again.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.