entertainment

These 25 Pets Are Dicks

21.

About to get lucky with my lady when the dog decided he wanted to play. He jumps on the bed and tries to get between us. We push him off the bed and he pauses, sighs, walks to the head of the bed, makes eye contact with me, then pisses all over the side of the bed… needless to say I didn’t get laid that day

22.

Golden Retriever. Bullsh*t dogs die when they eat chocolate. Helped my mom make three chocolate cakes for my little brothers birthday, and that f*cker ate all three when we weren’t looking.

23.

My friend was asleep on the couch. Before he fell asleep he got a large glass of water (32 oz) and sets it on the end table next to the couch. Cut to around 3:30 a.m. my cat decides to prowl around and see what this is on the couch. During the investigation the cat decides my friend was thirsty and sends the entire glass of water into his head. Rude awakening from a d*ck cat.

24.

My Jack Russell likes to drink heaps of water, run around like crazy, then vomit on my pillow.

25.

We have a cat that once pissed on a power strip. It sparked (no damage) and somehow popped the fuses, plus now that room smells like burning cat piss

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.