entertainment

25 Waiters Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing They’ve Overheard At Tables

21.

While bar tending a man once told me he was going to kill his boss because an accident at the cement plant killed his friend, and nothing was done to fix the problem. I also had a guy come to the bar order a bottle of O’Douls non-alcoholic beer and a shot of vodka. He did this several times and would stand between the bar and his table and pour the vodka in the beer, then go back to his table.

22.

Was waiting a table a couple days ago for a group of older ladies. While I was walking back to the kitchen, I overheard one of them say “You don’t know what it’s like to be married to such a fucking ugly man” and then said something about waiting for him to die so she’ll gain his money. It shook me up inside.

23.

I used to wait tables at a waffle house. One morning, around 6 A.M., I had an older gentleman come in and sit. I came up to take his drink order, like usual, asking how he was and such, his response was, with tear filled eyes, “I just buried my wife.” I had to pause for a second to collect myself, because it kinda hit me hard.

24.

My girlfriend waits tables. One time a creepy man said to her “when I have sex with my wife, I think of you instead.” The wife sitting at the table didn’t seem bothered by this fact. I also bought my girlfriend pepper spray and a tazer soon after.

25.

Woman (smelling the fish that another table had ordered): “Oh god, what’s that gross fish smell? Man: “Close your legs.” I picked my jaw up off the floor and ran away. She screamed at him and made him apologize to me… seems to me like he should have apologized to her but okay.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.