The 25 Worst Things That Have Been Inside People’s Bodies

by Alex Cogen

11.

A thick lemon peel. It was part of a dessert for extra flavor and I wasn’t supposed to eat it, but it got lodged in my throat. I tried all the home remedies and started adjusting to my new life, but it eventually went down.

12.

I was weed whipping at a summer job and unknowingly hit a patch of poison ivy. Chunks of the plant imbedded in my leg and caused a massive reaction of large volcano islands of itchy puss filled rash bubbles.

13.

I was really bored as a kid and I tried pushing marbles up my nose, and I couldn’t get them back out. Then I pushed one too deep and couldn’t get it out, so as any normal kid would do, I tried my other nostril. Lo and behold I had two marbles stuck in my nose and had to be taken to the hospital to get them out.

14.

A cucumber. It was during a horrible gardening accident.

15.

My mothers 6″ dildo. I’m male. I also have horrible regrets.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.