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27 Embarrassing Sexual Things Children Had to Explain to Their Parents

5.

There was an old saying “full of the jizz” meaning full of energy. My cousin had to explain to his mother what jizz now meant after she exclaimed he should be full of jizz while having his breakfast.

6.

We were taking a family vacation for Christmas about 4 years ago. Rented a cabin out in the Ozarks and spent a few days there making pies, hiking, and playing games instead of traditional presents. My mother found the Glory Hole Trail, came up to the table where my brother, father, wife, and I were playing a card game to say in an absolutely enthusiastic, innocent voice “who wants to go to the glory hole?” When all of us died laughing, I got to be the one to describe to her what a glory hole was. You know, the kind you’d find a truck stop. As an extra bonus, my sheltered catholic grandmother also wanted to know what all the noise was about.

7.

What friends with benefits means.

8.

When I was a teenager, I got really into jerking off, as young teenage boys do. I don’t remember if anything specific happened to cause this, but one day my erections just seemed consistently weaker, and I started getting this weird discharge sometimes during or after peeing. It bothered me enough to explain to my mom, who luckily just said “let’s set up a doctor appointment” and went from there. They never found anything wrong, and I was a little annoyed that the two times I was urine tested the discharge wasn’t there. Anyway, 20 years later and everything is working fine.

9.

THERE ARE NAKED PICTURES IN MY PHONE, STOP SCROLLING!

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.