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27 Embarrassing Sexual Things Children Had to Explain to Their Parents

10.

I had to ask my Mom to please not say ricockulous, which she was doing non-ironically and with no sense of humor. She seemed to think that it was a legit word that you could use interchangeably with ridiculous. Had to explain that only frat boys used it and only frat boys thought it was funny. She was so disappointed, she thought she’d figured something out I guess? So awkward.

11.

Why 14 year old me had printed out a full page picture of Maria Sharapova in a bikini and hidden it in my room. WHY DO YOU THINK IT WAS THERE MOM DON’T MAKE ME SAY THE WORDS.

12.

After 15min trying to be subtle and assuring my parents that my boyfriend was not abusing me, I had to be straightforward and tell them that we just like really rough sex, and that’s where those bruises came from. Then they just apologized and we pretended it never happened.

13.

Why the Red Cross sent me a letter saying I was banned indefinitely from giving blood due to experimental gay sex as a teenager.

14.

I met my Mother for lunch one day, and the first thing she asked me was “Do you know what a snuff film is?” She is an English teacher and one of her students had been reading a Bill Bryson book; apparently he references snuff films somewhere in one of his books. So I had a little chat with her about the birds, slowly and painfully killing the bees on camera and watching it for a sexual thrill.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.