27 Examples That Prove Children Really Are Evil

Image via Buzzfeed
Image via Buzzfeed

When kids come to mind, you think about how cute they are, right? WRONG. You should think about how annoying and rude they are.

Okay, okay, maybe I took that a little too far. But trust me, once you read the following 27 things children have said and done, you’ll be like, alright, maybe that crazy TFLN chick had the right idea.

Sure, some kids are adorable and wonderful. But most kids are PURE EVIL. Like, little devils. If you need a more specific example, think of those little birds on Game of Thrones. They, like, stabbed a dude (albeit a creepy old dude) to death and didn’t give AF. Alright, they’re fictional, whatever, but kids are evil. Just let me have this.

So next time you see a cute kid, don’t be surprised when it tells you how fat you are or calls you a “b*tch” or “c*nt.” Let’s just all agree, when that sh*t happens, punt them like a football and then blame their parents. THEY DESERVE IT.

These 27 children said the most horrible things:


1.

We were visiting a zoo with friends of my parents a while ago, my dad took their daughter and raised her up a bit so she could look over a fence to see an animal. She then said “let me down c*nt.” She was like 5 or 6 years old.

2.

My niece who was 3 at the time was running around and being noisy during my dad’s wake. I called her attention and told her to behave. She stopped and looked at me and shouted “Your daddy’s dead, don’t talk to me!”

3.

There was a 14 year old girl working the fitting room at Old Navy. There was a larger (but not fat, just busty) woman trying on a dress, and she asked her if she thought it was too tight. The girl’s response – “well, how much bigger do you think you’re going to get?” Jaw drops all around.

4.

Some years ago me and my little brother were just talking outside, and he started talking about the zombie apocalypse and what I would do. I said depending on what kind of zombies there was, and how bad it got, maybe suicide. He said, “Oh, like your dad?” I know he didn’t really think about it, but man did it sting and I had to walk that off a bit.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.