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27 NSFW Things Witnessed At Parties

5.

Final year of high school, at a party where everyone was really wasted. Like, the stupid drunk you got before you understood limits. Anyone one girl couldn’t handle it anymore, so she pulled her jeans down and started masturbating on the couch in front of everyone.

6.

Went to a topless party in college, as in a party where guys and girls were shirtless. After doing a jello shot off of a stranger’s boobs, I told my friends a few doors down about the party. They arrived just as most of the girls went into a backroom to get high, and a big bearded man decided to show off his Jacob’s ladder by making it a bottomless party. My friends didn’t trust me for a while after that.

7.

I once saw a guy shit his pants and then chuck them out the window.

8.

Had an outside party where a rando passed out on his side in the middle of the driveway. The 8 or so friends he’d come with all let him sleep & the party continued around him. Eventually someone yells my name & points at the passed out fella who’s managed to get his d*ck out & start peeing while still on his side. At this point everyone outside has stopped what they were doing to gasp at this turn of events. After a while he begins to slowly lean backwards & the arc of piss gradually goes higher & higher into the air. Finally he makes it all the way onto his back & the angle of his pecker is just right so that the remaining piss hits him right between the eyes. Half the party was disgusted & unimpressed, but the rest had plenty to bond over for the rest of the night.

9.

At a party a couple of years ago I witnessed a grown ass adult who was currently attending university drop a turd in a plant pot in the hosts livingroom. He was just in the corner squatting over a plant pot thinking nobody would notice.
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Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.