We all have secrets. If you don't have any secrets, you're just not living your life to the fullest! But there is a difference between a small secret (that you maybe let slip to a few peeps) and a huge earth-shattering secret that you plan on taking with you to the grave.
You know the kind: the ones that are so unbelievably embarrassing that you don't think you could get the words out for fear of utter shame and humiliation. Or it's the kind that is so terrible or heartbreaking, that you can't bear to tell anyone because it just hurts too much. You live with some sort of shame or guilt because maybe you witnessed something horrible and didn't do anything about it, or something bad happened to you, and you don't know how to put it to words.
Regardless of the type of secret, these 27 people aren't telling a soul.. until now. Sure, they've confessed their mind-blowing secrets to us, but hey, they're anonymous, so it doesn't REALLY count as breaking their to-the-grave oath, right?
These 27 people confess secrets they're taking to the grave:
1.
I worked for a shipping company at a customer desk. A guy I had known came in to ship a package. He was a known drug dealer in my town. He didn't recognize me. The package was wrapped in duct tape. I took the package, brought it out back and made it disappear into my backpack. After my shift I opened the package & found $37,890 in cash. I never went back to the job & never heard anything about it. I left Texas a month later with cash in hand.
2.
My parents took me to get my hearing checked when I was 12 because I wasn't responding when they called my name. I pretended not to hear some of the beeps in the hearing aid test room. As a result, I wore a hearing aid for 2 years when I was 12-14 years old. I don't know why I did that.
3.
My freshman year of college I was really hung over one morning and I was back at my parents house for the rest of the weekend. I was wearing loose fitting athletic shorts with no underwear, and kind of rocking back and forth in front of the TV to feel that satisfying slap (any dude knows what I'm talking about). Well I went to fart but instead a stream of diarrhea squirted out just at the right moment and completely missed my shorts but got all over the carpet. I went to the bathroom to grab some TP, and by the time I got back to the living room my dad was on his hands and knees cleaning it up and yelling at my dog. I've never had the heart to tell him it was my accident.
4.
My dad cheated on my mum with her sister when I was born (my aunt moved in to help my mother with the newborn i.e. me). My mother told me while she was drunk at a dinner party, and started it all off with “You know, I know I sometimes sound like I hate you, but there's a reason…” So, even though I love both of my parents, I secretly think they're both pretty awful excuses for human beings. My dad for obvious reasons, my mother for holding it all against me.
Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.
