27 People Share the Most Ridiculous Things They Believed as Kids

9.

I thought that my mom gave birth to our pets as well. I never figured out whether it was random luck what you got or planned.

10.

I had bunk beds as a kid and would spend way to much time deciding whether to sleep on top or bottom. I thought that if I slept on top I would be more likely to get stung by killer bees (because they fly obviously), but if I was on the bottom I would be more likely to be killed by an axe murderer.

11.

I used to think that the word ‘mustache’ was the worst word you could possible say. If I was really angry I would call my brother a “F*cking mustache,” thinking that mustache was the naughty part.

12.

I didn’t eat McDonalds for a very long time as a child b/c my douchebag uncle told me the burgers were made of clowns. He had some convincing- well convincing to a 4 year old anyway- story that the reason they had a plastic Ronald McDonald out front was to attract other clowns so they could keep making burgers. I totally bought it, after all, he was my cool uncle.

13.

From the age of 13 to the age of 16, my grandmother told me masturbation was the cause of severe acne. You better believe anytime a zit or pimple popped on my face I tried to conceal it as much as possible lest my grandmother believe I was spanking the monkey.

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.