These 27 People Shouldn’t Try Dirty Talk in Bed

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What’s one of the easiest way to spice it up in the bedroom? No, not literal peppers or hot sauce, that’ll probably hurt and be a huge regret later on. Here’s a tip: ALWAYS wash your hands thoroughly after cutting up any sort of pepper before sexy time, okay? You and your partner will thank me for this tidbit.

A little dirty talk can go a long way in the bedroom, though. Telling your partner what you want when you’re in between the sheets helps heighten the experience while making it an overall better experience since you’re telling them what you want. A little direction through dirty talk  always helps get you both to the finish line.

There’s an art form to the script of dirty talk and it can take a couple tries to perfect. You’ve got to figure out what’s the best approach for both you and your partner. Some of us are a little more experienced in the subject and can teach a thing or two to the novice dirty talker. To those that have said the wrong thing in bed, just try to laugh it off and continue what you’re doing. Hopefully both of you can still get to the finish line after the awkward pause in the midst of sexy time.

These 27 people have had some cringeworthy “dirty talk” moments in bed:


I was told, “make my p*ssy fart”, I still don’t know what to say.


One night with my girlfriend I tried to talk dirty and said, “Call me a filthy girl!” I’m a guy. It was one of the most awkward moments in my life, but my girlfriend without missing a beat replied with: “You’re a filthy girl”


We decided to try a vibrating cock ring. The sex session was almost abruptly cancelled several times in a row because I couldn’t stop making Lord of the Rings jokes.


My first hookup came in 10th grade with a girl Jill. We were on her futon in her basement and right about when I got “just the tip in” she screamed “HE’S RAPING ME DADDY!” This of course brought her dad running down stairs ready to end my life at and I just ran past him out of the house. Her sister caught me as I headed back to their house to get my keys phone car etc. I finally put some clothes on and listened to her sister and her mom explain how f*cking nuts Jill was and she just left the hospital (all never mentioned before).

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.