These 27 People Shouldn’t Try Dirty Talk in Bed

by Irvi Torremoro

10.

He said to me as we switched to doggy style, in a mario voice, “lets-a put it in-a like dis!”

11.

“Blitzkrieg.. blitzkrieg.. BLITZKRIEG” /cum

12.

My first time having sex. “When my friend has sex he thinks about cats, I’m thinking about airplanes.” Only had sex with her once thankfully. My awkwardness is still quite apparent in bed.

13.

She didn’t know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were f*cking. O CANADA!

14.

Her: “I’ll be your slave, I’ll do anything you want…” Me: “Call me Master.” Her: “Yes Master…” Me (whispering in her ear): “Build me a pyramid”

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.