entertainment

29 Awkward Childhood Memories People Can’t Forget

10.

In fourth grade we were doing a class project that involved a panel of students sitting at desks in a semi-circle, with the rest of the class (including myself) sitting on the floor in the center. Someone said something that made me start laughing hysterically, and as that was happening, I farted. Loudly. And that made me laugh harder. Which made me fart more. Before long, I was rolling on the floor laughing and farting, in the middle of the class, totally unable to control myself. Eventually I was able to pull it together, and the teacher looked at me, eyes wide open and jaw dropped, and eventually asked, “… Are you OKAY?”

11.

In second grade, we were taking a test. I really had to sh*t, but it was the end of the day, so I thought I could hold it in. Wrong. I ended up using one of the small bathrooms that the classrooms had, I did my stuff, wiped, washed my hands and all that, and went back to doing my test. Well I plop my hand down on my paper and lift it up only to discover a giant blob of sh*t got stuck to my hand and was now smeared on the paper. I Was freaking out, but being the crafty second grader I was, I realized that I plopped it down right on a picture of a brick wall that was on the test..I used the sh*t to color it in thinking that the teacher would think I got a colored test.

12.

You know what crotch rot is? I’m not sure what the real name for it is. It’s that feeling you get when you’ve been walking around in a wet swimsuit all day and everything around your manhood is chaffed. I got a real bad case of crotch rot one time when I was in Florida on a family vacation. We had been on the beach for hours and I was getting really uncomfortable. I ran down to the beach and threw my arm around my mom and whispered in her ear “my crotch is stinging so bad, it’s KILLING me.” It wasn’t my mom. Mortified, the woman jumps away from me and starts backing away like 12 year old me had licecrabs. I flushed a crimson red and ran back to the hotel room.

13.

The first day of 8th grade I strolled into the wrong class after visiting the restroom.

14.

When I was in 2nd grade, I was in the restroom pooping. Someone then entered the restroom, and by what he was whistling, I could tell it was a kid in my class. I said, “Hey, Ian.” To which he responded, “Who’s that?” I then told him a false name, one of Ian’s friend’s names. We had a small conversation while he waited to use the stall. I wiped and was on my way. When I got out of the stall, he realized I wasn’t who I said I was. For some reason this deeply upset this guy and he had to punish me. He got close enough that could smell the Skittles on his breath and said, “Now you’ll pay.” He bent from the waist and leaned over the toilet, still with his hands comfortably clasped together behind his back and began gagging. I shrieked, “What are you doing?!?” and he yelled back, “I’M GOING TO VOMIT!” I ran out and avoided him for the rest of the year.

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.