humor

29 People Reveal The Dumbest Thing They’ve Done While Their Brain’s On Autopilot

11.

Not me but affected me. Me and my friend Marc were going to a party and he decided to drive there and leave his car. He just wanted to pick up a bottle of vodka from his house first. We pull up outside and he runs in while I wait outside in the car. He was in there for a while but I figured he might have been chatting to his family or maybe having a big poo. I didn’t want to interrupt either. After about twenty minutes, his father returned home from walking the dog and saw me sat in the passenger seat of his son’s car, which still had the engine running. He went in and mentioned it to Marc who came straight out. In the time it took him to walk up his path he had completely forgotten about us going to the party. He went in, made a sandwich, and took it to bed.

12.

In winter when we have just a 6 hours sunlight (I live in Sweden) I went home after Uni and had a nap before I continued studying. Woke up a while later and it was dark out and my clock said it was 7 o’clock. Thought I slept through the night, fully-dressed, so I went to shower and get ready to go back to Uni. It wasn’t until I came to Uni I realized it was 7 pm and I had only napped for an hour – not a full night.

13.

Making breakfast last week, I cracked an egg straight into the trash.

14.

A few years ago, my commute to work involved entering a train station and going down the escalator to the underground platform. I did this journey every day for about 4 or 5 years, taking the same route each time. One day, and it happened to be on a day I was nursing a pretty nasty hangover, they switched the up and down escalators so that the one I usually take down was coming up instead. Dunno why, some sort of maintenance thing I guess. Anyway, of course I head to the down escalator without even thinking. Pure autopilot. But when I step on to the escalator, instead of my brain recognizing that the stairs were moving in the wrong direction, I still tried to walk down against the force of the moving stairs. I must have done this for a good 10 seconds before I had a “what’s going on here” moment and stepped back.

15.

Filled my dog’s bowl with dry cereal and my bowl with dog food and milk. Only one of us enjoyed breakfast.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.