humor

29 People Reveal The Dumbest Thing They’ve Done While Their Brain’s On Autopilot

16.

The one my girlfriend and I still laugh about is when she sneezed and I said, “Happy Birthday.”

17.

I flew out to San Diego a few months ago. I fly maybe 1-2 times a year so I’m familiar with the process but I’m by no means a pro at this. Atlanta airport, TSA line. Monday morning, so a huge crowd. Laptop in the bin. Suitcase on the conveyor belt. Shoes, glasses, keys, watch. Take off my belt. Unbutton my jeans and hook my thumbs in the top of my jeans and underwear and PREPARE TO PULL THEM DOWN. Come on, brain, could you show up a little earlier next time?

18.

Threw my wallet (ID, cash, CC’s) in the trash, proceeded to take out the trash. Fuck me running.

19.

Once met some friends at a restaurant a few blocks from my house. I drove and parked on the street right in front of the place. After we ate, we walked over to Dairy Queen, walking right past my car in the process. I then proceeded to walk home from Dairy Queen. Got home and thought it was strange that my car wasn’t in the driveway.

20.

Working on an airplane and had to put my head in a tight spot to see a plug. Caught a sharp piece of metal on my cheek and immediately pulled my head away and slammed it on the other side of the opening. Repeat process two more times until I can force myself to stop the reactions.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.