entertainment

29 Worst Things People Woke Up To

5.

One time I was sleeping on a buddy’s couch while visiting him out of town. I awoke in the early morning feeling unbelievably rested and refreshed, the kind of a wake up that comes once in a lifetime. The sun’s rays were warming my face and I stretched out my arms, yawned, turned to the right, and realized suddenly that I was at perfect eye level and about 3 inches from my friend’s german shephard’s assh*le. The exact instant I noticed this, I saw the assh*le open and the dog started sh*tting profusely all over the floor. It was an eye-opener for sure.

6.

An email from the boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend saying they were sleeping together, with screenshots of every sext message they exchanged. When I stopped crying, I returned a missed call from my Dad. He let me know my favorite uncle died.

7.

My girlfriend screaming at the top of her lungs “They’re at the bottom of the bed!” while pulling up the covers to her face. Thankfully she was just dreaming, but my heart has never achieved such a high BPM as it did in those few moments.

8.

I had been dating this girl for a while, to the point where she was basically co-habitating in my tiny ass dorm room. The window to the room pointed away from every source of light, so when the lights were off it was BLACK. I wake up one night at around 2 in the morning to see her roll onto her stomach. No big deal. Then she pulls her knees up under her. Kind of funny, and actually slightly adorable. Then, she sits up and just stares straight ahead. I call out her name, she doesn’t respond. Keep in mind, I can only sort of see her outline, and deeper, darker pits where her eyes are. I ask her if she’s okay. Still nothing. By this point I’m freaking out, there’s straight up some Exorcism going down (at least in my head). Then she slumps back down and rolls over and everything goes back to normal.

9.

My bf woke me up once, eyes wide open, speaking coherently in what I affectionately call his “demon voice.” “What are you doing? slowly reaching out towards my face “This is mine.” I freaked out and wrapped him tight with blankets and yelled his name until he woke up.

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.