32 Hilariously Petty Reasons People Have Broken Up


Many millennials are too young to remember Seinfeld. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t remember you.

Allow me to explain.

Twenty-some-odd years ago, you were wearing diapers and drooling all over yourself. And at the same time, unbeknownst to you, a popular sitcom was dominating the air waves, subtly paving the way for contemporary pop culture – from the jokes you laugh at to the shows you stream today.

And as it turns out, it also had a weird impact on relationships. Specifically, the petty and insignificant reasons we sometimes end them.

And it all started with this guy – George Costanza. 

Image via Tumblr
Image via Tumblr

Here’s a compilation of his greatest moments on the show:

As you can see, he’s pretty neurotic. And insecure. But that doesn’t stop him from projecting his totally insane standards onto the women he’s dating. He breaks up with girls for chewing too loudly, walking too slowly, having toe thumbs – you name it. If it’s dumb and illogical, he’d dump a girl for it.

Predictably – Seinfeld’s considerable influence being what it is – a lot of people related to, and maybe even mimicked, this particular character trait.

There’s not one, but many threads on AskReddit titled “What’s the most George Costanza-esque reason you’ve broken up with someone?” and some of the real-life answers are pretty insane.

Here are 32 of the most hilariously insignificant things people have dumped their significant others for, thanks (at least in part) to one of the most influential shows in television history.

1. It was 4 days before my birthday and she said she was going to get me a gift. I knew I couldn’t break up with her for at least 30 days after accepting her gift and I wasn’t willing to make a 34 day commitment to the relationship.

Image via This Is Why I'm Broke
Image via This Is Why I’m Broke


2. She was putting mustard on her fries by applying it to her hand first and then rubbing it all over the fries. Then she licked the mustard off her hand. You would never ever think she would do this by looking at her or speaking to her.

Image via Giphy
Image via Giphy


3. One day I realized she looked like Paul Dano and I couldn’t unsee it. That was it.

Image via The Guardian
Image via The Guardian

Written by Mary McCaw

Mary is a freelance writer and editor. She's based in San Francisco, but lately, home is wherever her suitcase is. If you really are what you eat, she is at least 50% pizza.