25. I broke up with an awesome girl who was really good for me because I had more shoes than her. I felt like such a b****.
26. A girl in high school used to write me notes in code, like the f***ing Zodiac Killer. That alone started out as cute and kind of fun, until I realized she was essentially illiterate.
Try completing a jumble put together by a functioning idiot and see how quickly you lose your patience. I thought she was a goddamn genius at first and had to ask her to finish the notes for me. Then I kind of just looked down at the note, then back up to her skeptically, then back down to the note. We didn't last long.
27. I hated her favorite shirt. That was that.
