The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

11.

“If it weren’t for your belly you’d be Smokin’ hot!”

12.

“You know… I had sex with one of my students yesterday… she only just turned 17…” well nope nope nope bye. Also informed said school since I had a bone to pick with that dude as well.

13.

He said he doesn’t mind providing for me in exchange for companionship. I told him I was dating someone and still tried to convince me that he’d be a better option. Dude, I’m just waiting for my bus I don’t need your money.

14.

When I was 14 a boy my age had his “evil alternate personality” confess to me on his behalf. Specifically, “it” told me I was lucky that he (the boy) liked me enough to stop it (the evil personality) from murdering me. Then he was like “Oh no, I can’t believe it told you! I didn’t want you to find out this way!” Yeah, me neither.

15.

“Do you have rape fantasies?” I wanted to get help with a class and I thought he was going to help me catch up. He immediately hit me with this line. I made an excuse, stood up, and bolted.

16.

He wrote a love letter/poem to me that included the phrase “Let thy juices secrete.”

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.