dating

The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

17.

I mean to be fair this guy had some weird fetishes as I later found out but: “I know we don’t know each other well so let’s play a little game! Imagine I’m a tiny man that lives in your shoe. Tell me what I’d do. Go!”

18.

The guy who confronted me in a parking garage while I was walking to my car and eating a strip of bacon who started hitting on me and ARGUED when I declined a dinner invitation and went on a really long drawn out rant while I stood there awkwardly eating a strip of bacon until he concluded with “Worst case scenario I buy you dinner and and we never talk again and that’s cool because I’d spend fifty bucks just to watch a hot girl eat a burger.”

19.

When I was on holiday a man was hitting on me and told me he could sense that my plane I was getting home the next day would crash, and I should stay there with him. I was 14 and he was in his 30/40s.

20.

I was in 9th grade and he was a junior, he passed me a note stating that he had never eaten out a white girl before. He got pretty mad when I said I wasn’t interested. Teenage romance is a beautiful thing.

21.

“You know, I can’t decide who you look more like: a blow up Japanese sex doll or a sexy version of Sid from Ice Age.”

22.

I’ve had two different guys tell me they were going to commit suicide if I didn’t have sex with them.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.