dating

35 Small Things You Noticed In A Person That Made You Lose Interest

5.

I was dating a girl once who answered her phone while we were in a movie theatre. It wasn’t an emergency and it wasn’t a “sorry I’ll call you back!” hushed thing. It was just her straight up having a conversation on her phone in the middle of a crowded theatre. It infuriated me. Wasn’t even able to look at her the same after that.

6.

He would stop after nearly every sentence and tell me the definition of any word beyond a 4th grade level. Real Examples/ “A fetus is…” “Sarcasm means…” “A paradox is…” I was expecting him to rip off his mask halfway through the date, revealing a dictionary underneath.

7.

He kept referring to me in third person when talking to me. It really creeped me out and just reminded me of some kind of serial killer internal monologue that he was accidentally saying aloud. I bailed pretty quickly.

8.

She was complaining about how broke she was earlier that day. I eventually mentioned that I was really hungry but didnt have time to leave for lunch and she asked if I heard of Postmates. I hadn’t, and when I looked it up there was like a $20 delivery fee. I told her that I’d pass on that and she told me that she was ordering sushi with them delivering. I said “But aren’t you still broke?” and her response was “I knowww but I couldn’t help myself.” It sounds petty, but I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t have enough self control to at least go pick up the sushi and save $20

9.

Told a guy I was seeing that I had seen someone who looked like Vincent Van Gogh. “you mean that guy from Wedding Crashers? He’s hilarious!”

10.

Perfume smells like death. No really. It was husky, like aged wood, almost rotting wood. It brings forth vivid images of that cemetary-next-the-retirement-home smell. It was like the rotting wood of a casket. Now if the smell was just yknow “edgy” like darkness or despair, then whatever. But this literally smelt like rotting wood or a dying carcass.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.