10. This is a thing.
My ex-husband has an innie penis, it retracts into his body completely when it is flaccid and looks like a belly button. The first time I saw it I was very confused as I had never seen anything like it. He hadn’t warned me at all and it was a bit of a shock, to be honest.
9. No guy is ever disappointed.
I blushed deeply, hid my face, and thought “HOOOOO MY GOSH HE’S GONNA BE SO DISAPPOINTED WHEN MY CLOTHES COME OFF”
8. ’90s kids won’t understand.
This is SOOO much better than the Sears Catalogue!
7. Uncomfortable chicken, by the way, is explained by another helpful Redditor.
“Oh, I was kidding but you did it- I think she’s into me.”
We used to play uncomfortable chicken but now we just have sex.
Another helpful Redditor:
Not the guy, but when I used to play uncomfortable chicken was when you both groped each other and slowly moved towards “private” areas until somebody chickened out. It’s just a silly horny teen game.
6. Fair.
Penises are funnier looking than I expected. I didn’t see a flaccid one for quite a few months after – that was even funnier. Still is 20+ years later TBH.
5. Was…was he Emeril?
He whipped his dick out and said “BAM” and I was like “huh, I kinda hate him.”
4. Aw, give yourself some credit.
I never saw my first girlfriend completely naked.
The second one, though — basically I knew I was waaaaay out of my league, physically.
Though, apparently, he isn’t the only one who feels this way.
Damn you could do so much better than me
Not even a little bit.
Me lol. My boyfriend looks so much better than I do, it’s ridiculous.
Not even at all.
Same lol, he rolled out of bed and I got a good look at him in the daylight and I was like….Wow what am I doing here with this 12/10?
3. Some things never change!
First time seeing wife naked: “alright, boobs!!”
10000476852756th time seeing wife naked: “alright, boobs!!”
2. A nice story.
She was a short, cute, blue eyed redhead, kinda overweight but had an adorable face. I was fifteen, too young and stoopid to realize oversize girls have oversized breasts until I lifted her shirt for the first time. Much, MUCH softer, warmer, and bigger than I expected.
1. And finally, a woman who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it:
I dated a girl in university who worked as a model for the art school. Before we were dating or I knew she was interested in me as anything but a friend she told me to come to a open night at the art school where people not in the program could pay $10 and do a painting lesson.
So I show up not even knowing she was a model, thought she wanted a friend to go paint with. Well she is the model that day and its a nude session. After the session is over she comes up to me in her robe and asks if I want to go for drinks. Yes Maam yes I do.
