Texts From Last Night is a regularly updated blog featuring funny lists, trending stories and re-posts of short text messages submitted by its users.
It’s no secret that life is full of little annoyances that can add up to one overwhelmingly unnecessary headache. From messy unorganized drawers that make it impossible to find the one thing you need to burning yourself on the straightener again because there’s not enough room in the bathroom, and don’t even get me started on […] More
The first time you walk into a Costco is a magical experience. Everything is huge and out there – the bare essence of product, available for you to purchase so, so, SO much of. It’s basically heaven on earth, until you find you’ve spent two hundred dollars. Although you probs got $500 worth of stuff, […] More
Posting a screen shot of a conversation you have with your best friend on Instagram is fun, but most people will have no idea what you’re talking about. Inside jokes don’t go over well! I’m sorry, but it’s true. No one cares that you and your bestie call pizza ‘za.’ They scroll on by and […] More
30. 29. 28. 27. 26. 25. 24. 23. 22. 21. More
Millennials get blamed for everything. For being too poor, too entitled, too uninterested in dying industries and nasty restaurants. For not wanting kids, for not being able to afford health insurance. For ruining just about everything the boomers hold sacred. But rarely does the generation so quick to point the finger of shame and blame […] More
If I had a dollar for every shameful, embarrassing thing I’ve ever done while drunk I’d never have to work again. Most people could probably say the same. That being said, as far as drunken regrets go shopping under the influence is pretty low on the list. In fact, some drunk purchases end up being […] More
We all go to Twitter for different reasons. Some go to hit their heads against the poisonous political red tide (that’s a metaphor about a type of algae, not a political position) of modern day America, blacking their eyes on the idiocy of our political system’s slow meltdown into a heap of radioactive slag. Other […] More
There are funny animals. There are cute animals. And if you were to picture each as a circle in a Venn diagram, the place where the two meet is literally the following “absolute units:” 33. 32. 31. 30. 29. 28. 27. Me after fully committing to exercise more. pic.twitter.com/zOlgOOgsYM — Paul Bronks (@BoringEnormous) September 6, […] More
With the release of a handful of new iPhones just around the corner, it was only a matter of time before Apple showcased its latest iOS software. iOS 12 offers an array of new features for iPhone users including a nifty “screen time” feature that tells you how much time you really spend staring at […] More
Sure, The Pun results in tired moans and groans, but its appeal is nonetheless undeniable. Everybody loves some good wordplay! (Actually, not true—According to John Pollack, author of The Pun Also Rises, those who dislike puns are threatened by “arbitrariness of meaning” and “tend to be people who seek a level of control that doesn’t exist.”) […] More
Teachers have it rough. Even though it may seem like they only work from about 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. a day, they actually put in so many extra hours at home, preparing new lesson plans and grading papers endlessly. They’re on their feet for a large part of the day, and for all their […] More
Once upon a time, the world was full of f*cks to give. I gave a f*ck, you gave a f*ck, everyone gave a f*ck. They were in plentiful supply and could be handed out to just about anyone or anything. Over time, however, most of us depleted our proverbial jar of f*cks and we continued on living […] More
