11. It’s important to value the small things.
If you’re struggling and need a reason to stay alive, remember that it’s okay to focus on small things. Stay alive because you don’t want your cat to miss you. Because you really want to see how The Big Bang Theory ends. Whatever it takes to keep you going is okay. It doesn’t have to be some big thing, as long as it works.
And if you feel worthless, remember that other people think of you in ways that you will never know about. You give them happiness that you don’t realize. Maybe you gave someone a really cool coffee mug a few years ago, and whenever they use it, it brightens up their day. Without you, they wouldn’t have that little bit of extra joy. And you have no idea what the future could hold. Even if you aren’t hopeful or excited about it, aren’t you at least curious? Wondering what’s around the next corner can be enough of a reason to keep going.
12. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
This quote can be matched with any situation. Not happy with your job? Boom. Your significant other sucks? Welp. You wanna get healthy? It works. This has impacted me in more ways than one. Who knew so few words could be so powerful!
13. Everyone has their own perspective.
I’m an actress and my director told me, “It’s not that you’re not good enough, people just have different visions and you might not fit their exact idea and there’s no harm in that. Just be you and know that that’s enough”. That lifted a weight off my shoulders.
14. Your mind is like a garden. Some thoughts are beautiful and healing like flowers, while others clutter and suck the beauty out like weeds. You need to care for what you want to grow.
I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety over the last few years, and this is one of the best pieces of advice regarding my mental health that I’ve ever heard. It’s made it easier for me to banish negative thinking from my daily life.
15. Be ruthless for your own well-being.
Holly Butcher, who died from cancer at 27, wrote this in a letter that was shared by BuzzFeed just two days after I’d left an abusive relationship. It really hit home for me. For the next six months, I had friends and family who had no idea what I’d been going through for the past three years question most of my decisions and feelings.
The path I wanted, and knew I needed to follow, led me to divorce. I lost so much in the process. But I learned how to say “yes” to myself and to say “fuck it” to other people’s expectations and opinions.
16. Loving someone new doesn’t mean they didn’t love you.
I was struggling when my ex got into a new relationship and my mom told me that just because he loves her doesn’t mean he loved you any less. That really hit me because I was comparing our relationship to his new one when they had nothing to do with each other
17. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.
I lost a lot of confidence when I decided to explore activities out of my comfort zone, and found that there were people who were naturally talented and excelled easily at things that were so difficult to me. But at the end of the day, hard work is the ultimate difference between the winners and the losers.
18. The situation may not be okay, but you will be.
Someone told me that even though the situation I was in was not okay, I would be. That has stuck with me, and I tell everyone that when they are having a rough time.
19. You can only do what you can do.
My supervisor told this to me early on in my (still very new) job working in foster care. It can get discouraging, but it helps to remember that I can’t control everything and that doing my best is enough.
20. Never be afraid to change your mind.
I was fortunate enough to be with my 100-year-old grandma as she lay dying in November, and she said: “Never be afraid of changing your mind when you know you’re in the act of making a wrong decision for yourself. The pain of continuing to live with the wrong decision is far greater than admitting you’re wrong and changing your mind.” I miss you, Grandma Lola.