Everyone knows that your first kiss is never truly magical. While we dream about the perfect moment where we will kiss the most handsome guy at the ball, our foot will pop, and fireworks will go off above our head–it never really happens that way, does it?
My first kiss was traumatic, to say the least. My first boyfriend at camp tried to kiss me while we were on a kayaking trip–our boat tipped over and I almost drowned because the water was too deep. Tragic. Thanks to BuzzFeed, people all over the world are also sharing their awkward first kiss tales and, now I feel a bit better about my own.
I had my first kiss in the all gender washroom at my school. I was hanging out with my friend and he said “do you want to kiss me?” And I just shrugged flirtatiously.
From there it all went down hill.
Next he said “dab for it”. This boy wanted me to dab to kiss him. So of coarse I did it. I dabbed really small. And he said “that wasn’t good enough” so I dabbed again and again til he was satisfied.
When we finally kissed it was super fast and dry. Like kissing to pieces of bread. It was awful. Definitely not worth all the dabs I did.
In 7th grade my first kiss was with a boy who was also having his first kiss. We skipped class, and he had the wrong idea about kissing all together because he opened his mouth open wide, and our teeth clanked harshly. I had to go to the school nurse for a chipped front tooth. He told me later he expected me to intensly French kiss. Only problem was I was 13 and had no idea what french kissing was at that age. We eventually kissed again correctly after about a year without talking after we had kissed other people.
I was 19 and was asked out on my first date ever. I was embarrassed that I was that old and had never kissed anyone before, so I Youtubed “how to kiss.” Youtube does not really help in this situation.. When the end of the date came, he leaned in for a kiss and I was so nervous that I just looked down and walked away. We ended up dating for 4 years, eventually I got the hang of it. Lol
My first kiss was at a high school freshman New Year’s Eve party. We had been painfully “flirting” the entire night, and when it was finally midnight I went over to where he was sitting and kissed him. 10 seconds later, he doubled over and puked in the trash can.
I invited this guy I knew to my school dance as a friend, but I guess he thought I meant something more. I met him there and it became clear really fast what he thought. While we were dancing he kissed me and put his tongue all over my mouth, inside and out. It was really gross. I turned around and wiped my mouth and then kept dancing. I told him the next day that I just wanted to be friends and I never heard from him again.
It was the summer before my Freshman year of high school, his junior year, and we were hanging out at the pool in our small town everyday. We would walk to the football field by the school and then walk home. One day when we were walking to his house (it was closer to the school than mine) he grabbed me and kissed me.. this wasn’t a “little peck” either. This was a full blown make out only on his part. I just stood there awkwardly. As soon as he pulled away I was like okay bye and ran away quick..
My first boyfriend kissed me as fireworks were going off after a baseball game. Sounds romantic but it was wet, sloppy, and his parents and grandparents were sitting right next to us. I couldn’t look them in the face for days afterwards.
I was a freshman and he kissed me in between classes. I felt like he was trying to eat my face. He said “well that didn’t go well” and walked away. It was humiliating.
I was probably 14 and had been seeing an older guy from a different school for three or four weeks. We were on his parents couch watching some movie I can’t remember when his mom went into the kitchen. He quickly put his arms around me and pulled me into a dip. It was at this point I realized I did not want to date this guy. I swerved, and we went back to the movie. About 20 minutes later it happened again, and I had resigned myself to it at this point. “Oh, well, at least I’ll finally have my first kiss.” Down into that same “dipping” motion we go and before I know it, TONGUE. Down my throat. No lips, no movement, just a fat, long tongue. What am I supposed to do with this?! I panicked. I pushed him off and we watched the rest of the movie before he took me home (the tongue had been in my mouth and throat a very long 30 seconds at this point). I ended up breaking up with him the next day (Feb 13–I know. Eesh.) saying I couldn’t date him because a friend of mine was pregnant (this was true) and that it was creating a lot of stress for me (lol, what?). And that is the story of how a floppy tongue lead to both my first awkward af kiss and my first awkward af breakup!
It was a very romantic kiss at the roller skating rink… until I cut my tongue on her braces and bled into her mouth.
It was my first ever night out. I was pretty drunk and started to dance with a man I have never met before. He took me by surprise so I bit his tongue.. Hard.. Not on purpose, it just happened.
It all started when I was 14 and he kissed me in the back of the movie theatre watching Madagascar 2. I couldn’t tell if the sound was a monkey eating a banana in the movie, or his tongue down my esophagus. I laughed HARD IN HIS MOUTH and ran to the bathroom in a hysterical fit of laughter where I proceeded to call my mom and have her come pick me up.
He was my first bf and it was the end of seventh grade. I was way too shy to kiss him so my tiny friend stood on top of a desk and smushed our heads together and just held them there for 10 seconds. We were frozen- lips didn’t move for the entire time and our heads sprang back after she let go. Honestly one of the silliest and funniest moments of middle school. We had no damn clue what we were doing
It went downhill, fast. He was the older brother of one of the kids I danced with. We had liked each other for a while, so he asked me on a triple date with some mutual friends to the county fair. The whole time we were there our friends were urging us to get on the ferris wheel together, so we finally gave in. We waited in line for what felt like forever. Once we were on the ride, it went around a few times and suddenly it stopped at the very top. For some reason I felt the urge to plant one on him…not smart. I ended up missing his mouth, and I knocked into him so hard that i gave him a nose bleed. Best part is that our friends got it all on video. We didn’t go on anymore dates after that.
First kiss was with my first bf at school, he was laying on the table (he was tired from walking down the stairs) and I was sitting next to him when he suddenly just leans in and starts “making out” with me. I kinda didn’t know what to do cuz I had never kissed anyone or been with a guy so I sorta just stuck my tounge in his mouth and somehow I ended up licking his teeth while we were kissing and after I felt something in my mouth and I realized he had something stuck In his teeth that I tounged out when we kissed ( ew ik). Promptly excused myself and left to my ride after. XD Let’s just say I won’t be Frenching anyone for a long time.
i was on a cruise for my 16th birthday and i met this guy at karaoke. after hanging out a few times, the last day came and i had a feeling we were going to kiss. we were alone and next thing i know he was going in for the kiss. but i wasn’t sure if i wanted to kiss him (i thought i wouldn’t see him again and i wanted my first kiss to be with someone i was going to date) so i PANICKED and asked him if he had herpes!!! HERPES!! I HAD RUINED THE MOMENT! he said no and LEANED IN AGAIN. BUT THEN i asked if he was sure he didn’t have herpes AND HE LET ME CHECK HIS MOUTH! I LITERALLY LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT LOOKING ALL AROUND HIS MOUTH even though I KNEW HE DIDNT HAVE IT TO BEGIN WITH!! but when it finally happened i didn’t know there was TONGUE INVOLVED??? I HAD MY LIPS CLOSED and it was so awkward because he kept trying to put his tongue in and i was like “i don’t know how to kiss” and he had to TEACH ME. he had to DESCRIBE HOW TO KISS to me. eventually i got the hang of it but it was so embarrassing and so wet!! but we ended up dating for 7 months (long distance)!
Throughout high school I had always anticipated getting my first kiss, because I felt like I was the only person in the entire school who hadn’t hooked up with or dated someone yet. Finally in my senior year, a cute boy caught my eye and I asked him out. We went on a few dates and they were very awkward but very cute. On the third date I drove him home late at night, and I was shaking in my seat cause I was planning on finally just going for it and kissing him. By the time we got to his house, Carry On My Wayward Son was blasting through the speakers, I parked, and just sat there. Several awkward seconds went by, and we did a back and forth of leaning in then leaning out until finally we just kind of smooshed our mouths together as stiffly as robots. It lasted two seconds, and right after he grabbed his stuff, said goodnight quickly and jumped out of the car. I don’t know why I did this but I yelled, “Hold on! Come back! Let’s try again! It will be better!” He just looked at me very confused and hesitantly, started to climb back in the car when I realized how fricken awkward I was being and stammered, “Nevermind! Goodnight! Bye!” When he closed the door I couldn’t drive away fast enough, and for hours after that I kept cringing at myself. Apparently I wasn’t awkward enough to scare him away since we’re still together almost 2 awesome years later.
As an awkward 13 year old who was obsessed with DIsney Channel, my first kiss was something I always thought was going to be special. I had been “dating” this boy for two weeks, and finally, he texted me on kik and said he was going to kiss me at lunch the next day. The next day, we kissed behind the big oak tree next to the cafeteria. When I went to pull away, I realized my braces were stuck to his. It took us 10 minutes, 3 of our friends, and a plastic fork to get us unstuck. Worst. First kiss. Ever.
We were 16 and he’d mentioned to my best friend that he was going to ask to kiss me at a party. So, of course, she told me, then I proceeded to fully talk myself into a panic about it. For an entire week, it was all I could think about. I played and replayed my expectations of the moment a million times in my mind. Then the time came. We were in my car, he asked the question, I too quickly answered, “Yes,” then I went in for the kiss…mouth fully open, jaw slack like a dead like a fish. He tried adjusting his head and/or mouth a few times, then finally backed up and said, “So, you kind of have to, like, do something…”
The kiss did not go as planned. But that was 12 years ago – we’re now married with two kids, so I guess it wasn’t that terrible.
When my girlfriend kissed me for the first time I straight up had a panic attack and we had to spend the rest of the night with her just calming me down. I mean it was great, but definitely not like the movies.
8th grade : cafeteria. I was sitting next to him and laughing at a joke. I guess he felt a vibe because the next thing I know his lips are on mine. When he pulled away he sneezed on me! It was the grossest thing ever.
I was 14 and I had had a crush on this guy for years. He was always kind of an asshole to me but I didn’t care, and one night he came over (nothing unusual) and he kissed me with tongue pointing straight out and it was stiff when we were making out. He then tried to get me to do other stuff with him but I kicked him out. So gross
My first kiss was a guy making out with my hand. Like, he literally licked it for 5 minutes. Super awkward.
Beautiful. Passionate! I broke the kiss, turned around and vomited on someone immediately after.
mine was at my catholic school’s homecoming dance my freshman year. i was 14, he was my first boyfriend. while at the dance, he was sat at at table and pulled me into his lap. i decided to just go for it, leaned in, and ended up with him damn near licking my molars. worst of all, my school’s disciplinarian pulled us off of each other saying ‘no, no! you can’t do that here!’ and gave me detention the following monday. i’m 27 now, and still hate french kissing.