7.
My toddler figured out the child lock on the candy drawer.
Now my options are a padlock or those hanging bags that hide food from bears.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 11, 2016
LOL YOU CAN’T HIDE CANDY FROM US! Them… I meant them.
8.
[reading my coffee mug]
5-year-old: That says "World's Best Dad."
Me: It sure does.
5: Does he know you borrowed it?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 10, 2016
If you were the “World’s Best Dad” you’d let me eat candy for breakfast. You ain’t all that padre.
