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17 Hilariously Cringeworthy Ways These Parents Found Out Their Child Is No Longer A Virgin

The story of losing your virginity may include that very embarrassing part when your parents unexpectedly walked in on you. The situation only gets worse when they’re not your parents but your partner’s catching you boinking their precious child. Sometimes before you’ve even met them.

Parents find out their kid(s) is no longer innocent to sexual intercourse in all sorts of ways: a visit to the clinic, a father and son bonding at a campfire, or a parent discovering a cup full of used condoms in their child’s closet. Those are just a few examples of what went on in these 19 painfully awkward stories shared on different Reddit threads, below.

1. The parents of guiding_blind’s girlfriend thought their daughter was into way, way older men. (Note to young people: before cell phones, families often shared a single voicemail at their house. Often using cassette tapes.)

After my family and I relocated, my parents found out I was having sex when the gf’s mother left a voicemail threatening to sue me for having sex with a minor.

We were both the same age and it was certainly consensual. Although they were disappointed in hearing it in THAT context, they weren’t too upset. They only emphasized the importance of protection and that was the end of it.

2. zyygh’s sister probably had a really, really long talk with their mom after what went down.

I overheard my mom helping my sister fill out a medical checklist for whatever. Mom was holding the pen and filling out the answers while reading them out loud. She was rushing it because she was bored. Paraphrasing:

Do you have any blood diseases? No. checks a box

Are you allergic to any common foods? No. checks a box

Are you sexually active? No.

Sister quickly interrupts with an awkward but resolute “yes”

Silence

3. noodle-face’s brother is not a friend or family member you want to have.

My mom found out one day when she called the house looking for me. My brother, instead of knocking on my door, just barged into my room and found me balls deep in my girlfriend at the time. He went “hold on a second he’s having sex” and left the phone on the floor.

Thanks bro.

He was 3 years younger too, and most definitely a virgin. The nonchalant way he said it was frightening.

4. On the other hand, isperfectlycromulent is a super chill parent you want to have.

Preeetty sure things were gonna happen when he asked if his friend could spend the night while I worked night shift. His friend was a girl. They were 15 or 16, not sure what age.

They were sleeping in a pile on the couch (clothed) when I came from work, I didn’t disturb them, I just went to bed. When I woke up later they were still sleeping but now on opposite sides of the couch.

It was adorable.

5. Redditors thought fearlessandinventive actually lost his penis in this story. Others wondered why he called his mom about losing his virginity. Thankfully, he still has both (mom and penis).

When I was in HS, I told my mom I was going to stay a virgin until I was married. She did a little snort laugh & said, “Yeah, sure, honey.”

When I lost it in college & called her, she said, “I told you so, sweetheart.”

Texts From Last Night

Written by Texts From Last Night

Texts From Last Night is a regularly updated blog featuring funny lists, trending stories and re-posts of short text messages submitted by its users.