4.
Expectation:
So many hot people live in Hollywood! There’s no shortage of beautiful, fit, tanned men and women to right-swipe on Tinder and ogle at the beach. It’s a smorgasbord of hotties!
Reality:
Yes, everyone is beautiful. Unfortunately, that makes you the ugliest person within a 10-mile radius. Go ahead and get used to being ignored in the checkout line, at the bar, and in fitting rooms, etc.
5.
Expectation:
You get a makeover and achieve maximum hotness. All it takes is a new haircut and a shopping spree on Rodeo drive, and bam! You’re turning heads, just like your Hollywood peers.
Reality:
You spend $100 on a haircut that looks no different from your old hairdo. After nearly dying of sticker shock, you flee the designer shops on Rodeo as fast as your beat up sneakers can carry you, and end up at Topshop. You spend the next hour perusing Kylie Jenner’s new line of crotchless panties and wondering where your life went wrong.
6.
Expectation:
Witnessing a reality show taping is so common, you hardly even notice anymore. Why, the other day one of the Kardashian/Jenner clones walked into the coffee shop you were studying at, and you didn’t even bat an eye.
Reality:
You’re stopped at a red light while three black SUVs drive by with an LAPD motorcade. All three vans have heavily tinted windows, the first and third cars with cameras sticking out of the windows, focused on the second van. You just witnessed a reality show taping. And now you’re late to work.
