11. The better part of you ran down your mother’s leg.
12. Mr. Rogers would be disappointed in the person you’ve become.
13. Your birth certificate is just an apology from the condom factory.
14. You’re the celery of people.
15. You look like the product of incest.
16. I had a lovely evening. But this wasn’t it.
17. Your breath smells like a wet flip-flop.
You May Also Like
— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) December 27, 2018
18. Everyone who has ever loved you was wrong.