lifestyle

What It’s Like To Cut A Family Member Out of Your Life

5.

Cutting them out includes the negative emotions in addition to the positive ones. As long as you involve a shitty person in your life equation at all – either by loving them, or hating them – you are still basing your life on them. And they do not deserve that kind of influence. Thinking about them at all is still giving them the kind of respect & influence they have proven they do not deserve from you. Particularly with regards to the guilt, I’ve found it helpful to reframe my understanding of duty/responsibility. Stop thinking “I am a bad person for hurting their feelings for calling out the abuse,” & start thinking “I will be a bad person as long as I justify this abuse, because it will mean I am alright with other people being abused in the same way.”

6.

My brother had an habit of being around anytime money or pills ended up missing. When he stole my motorscooter it was the last straw. I stopped talking to him. My parents were pissed at me more than him. They were turning a blind eye on purpose. The final straw for everyone was when one of his friends told the police that he had offered up our younger sister for sex. My sister was 15. His friend had the wherewithal to see if his offer was still good via text while he was at the police station & when the response came in, he got arrested. My parents kicked him out of the house after that, which was 4 years ago. I haven’t seen him since his first court date & my parents claim to have no idea where he is either.

7.

No guilt at all. Don’t even think about them. Don’t even talk about them at home. My only regret was I didn’t do it sooner. It has actually been great for my wife and kids too. My wife has not cut her family ties but we have made some major boundaries. Her parents use to meddle a lot. Now we don’t give them the opportunity . On that note, never complain about your spouse to friends or family. Their memory is longer than yours will be.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.