I was at a party where everyone dressed up as old people. I had a white wig and everything. At one point I traded my pants for bathrobe because why not. At the after-party someone had popped a big moving-box worth of popcorn. Because of that I’m never sensible enough to to stop partying I was the last one to go to bed at that party I slept in the box of popcorn. It looked a little weird the next day on the bus ride home when a guy without pants dressed as a an old man with popcorn everywhere was trying to survive a hangover. I think it looked like I was a confused old man that had escaped from the old folks home. 10.
At a party that was gym bros and yoga hoes theme. My friends ripped my shirt off mid party because testosterone and alcohol. Wearing nothing but gym shorts and running shoes, somehow managed to still get laid. Wake up next morning and frantically look for clothing, didn’t find my shirt. I decide running is a perfect solution and begin jogging back to my apartment on the other side of campus, pretending to be out for my normal morning routine. its maybe -1c out, nipples able to cut diamond, jog past someone in long spandex, sweater, gloves, & ear muffs. 11.
Personally not mine but my roommate apparently did a mile long walk of shame dressed as a bandito wearing the usual accoutrement. Sans pants. He had a longish poncho on so it covered up his….uh tamale. He was lucky not to get discovered by campus police though. The topper was the main elevator at the dorm was one of those big freight jobs and was loaded to the gills with students going to morning classes. The doors opened and about 25 people caught sight of him. He never lived it down. 12.
My fiancée was walking back from her then boyfriends frat house on a crisp, fall Friday morning. Complete with the previous nights apparel, fishnets and a rag top, carrying her heels (some sort of theme party). As she walked through a section of buildings on campus as a shortcut she encountered a tour group, and tried to heel toe by with her head down. As she is making her way as quickly as possible, trying not to bring attention to herself, the girl leading the tour says, “Everyone say ‘Hello Holly!'” And about 45 sets of eyes panned to a scantily clothed 20 year old woman running away from campus as quickly as possible. The tour guide was her sorority sister and doesn’t let her live that down.
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