This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through

13.

My girlfriend had just purchased silk sheets. Things heat up and eventually from doggy she asks me to put it in her ass. I get excited because she likes it but rarely does it. So I lube up and start slow. I lift my leg so Im on one knee to get lined up. I ease the tip in and adjust myself to start adding pressure. As I adjust the silk sheets slip and I ram full length into her. Her hips go flat I fall over the top of her still in to the hilt. I pull out and she screams into the pillow. The mood up to that point had be sensual and steamy and in that one moment it changed to is this going to end in the emergency room. Needless to say neither of us finished. She was a champ though and after the shock left she said it may be awhile before we try that again.

14.

We were pounding missionary style & every time I pumped it sounded like a fat kid smacking on a mouthful of chocolate. She goes “that sounds awful” and we laugh & that was the end of that.

15.

I was doing her doggy and she farted on me and then she cried. It was a good night.

16.

Accidentally put it in the butt. Sex over.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.