This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through

17.

I was doing great and had The Office playing in the background and Dwight said, “Shalom I would like a loan” oh my god made me laugh so f*cking hard.

18.

CRAMP! ow ow ow! Pretty much exactly what I said as I hopped off the bed and started trying to get the back of my thigh to unknot.

19.

We broke the bed. I was on top, winding myself up, when all of a sudden hubs and I fell about eight inches after a particularly good bounce. He was in absolute shock, while I was laughing my head off. Breaking the bed was on my bucket list, not that I ever expected to be able to cross it off! Poor guy was too rattled to continue, so we cleaned up and tried to see if we could fix the bed. We couldn’t. Using an Ikea bed frame as newlyweds, would not recommend. Unless, of course, bed breaking is on your bucket list too.

20.

Was with a f*ck buddy who apparently had started to get big feelings for me. She blurted out Oh, I love you, I love you! I kept going for a while, then slowed down and started telling her about how I didn’t really want to get into a relationship with her, that I just liked hanging out as friends and then fucking now and again. She started crying … which killed the mood.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.