These People Turned Down Sex For the Craziest Reasons

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Getting freaky is one of the finest and simplest pleasures of life. Though, actually getting to a point where you’re able to consensually and enthusiastically rub your junk against someone else’s junk can get a bit more tricky. Like, if Tinder has taught me anything, it’s that I now know how to pick the crazy out of a sea of seemingly normal people and avoid that sh*t like the plague.

When a situation for “the sex” arises, you might find yourself wondering if it’s all really worth it. Is the other person too drunk? Will this ruin my current relationship? Uh, duh. And how will my conscience feel about f*cking this crazy or unstable person tomorrow morning? As much as American culture might have you believe, we aren’t all p*ssy and d*ck driven to the point of no control over our own desires.

And as far as I can tell — more and more people from around the internet are coming forward with their reasons for turning down sex. Maybe an estranged lover came to them offering sex for money and they couldn’t in their right mind close the deal. Or maybe that hot Mormon guy you had been flirting with all semester wanted you to take his V-card but you didn’t need a stage 5 clinger on your hands. Yes, your vagine is really that magical.

Either way, these people turned down sex and you won’t believe the crazy reasons they had for doing so:


A girl I had broken up with 6 months prior wanted me to get her pregnant and promised I would not have to be responsible for the kid. I was 17, she was crazy, I said no.


Not me, my friend was super happy he had a full banana outfit on and didn’t have sex with this chick because he didn’t want to take the banana outfit off.


I turned down sex in 8th grade because I was too afraid to go and buy condoms.


When my wife is in the mood, but I’m not.


From a married woman (not my wife).

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.