Psychologists Have Learned These 23 Shocking Things From Listening To Peoples’ Problems

10.

I have learned just how often we find ourselves in relationships which are designed to resolve our childhood wounds. I am a relationship therapist and always take one full session with a couple to look at their whole family of origin. Very often by the end of that session, the couple themselves are explaining to me (in some way) how they are recreating childhood issues to attempt to resolve them as adults. Its crazy frequent!

11.

Avoidance causes the most problems. Basically, when I look at my clients behavior it isn’t the symptoms like thoughts (e.g. I’m bad, there is no hope) or the feelings (e.g. Anger, sadness, anxiety, depression, frustration) that is causing the problem for my client. It’s usually what they are doing to control or minimize the symptoms. The thoughts and feeling my clients have are all normal, understandable, and rational. It’s what they use to minimize their internal negative experiences that causes the problems. For example, feeling anxious about social interactions (normal) can lead clients to never making friends or taking risks in their attempt to avoid that feeling. This leads to a cycle where they get more and more anxious and then all the sudden they have a disorder and are suicidal.

12.

Very little about you is original as we’re constantly repeating patterns we’ve learned since childhood. When humans find a solution, no matter how maladaptive it turns out to be in the long run, we stubbornly keep trying it over and over and over turns out it’s more comfortable to stick with the devil you know than to risk fear, failure and vulnerability by trying it a new way, even if the new way is logically better. The subconscious is a much greater force than most of us can fathom or care to admit.

13.

As soon as you mention the word psychology people see it as a gateway to tell you all of their problems. A simple lighthearted conversation with a stranger can turn into me knowing their full family history and the reasons why they drink so much. It’s lovely to be the person they open up to, but its hard going when you’re out with your friends at a pub and you can’t find an appropriate break in their talking to tell them you need to leave.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.