7. Because acknowledging these (totally normal and valid) feelings is healthy and necessary.
“Honestly, I think it takes a brave person to admit this is something they’re experiencing. Sometimes as a society, we like to deny certain realities, because they don’t fit the narrative of how ‘life should be.'
The problem is, doing so creates the illusion that we are the only one dealing with these things (when in reality that is almost never the case), and can be incredibly isolating.
Life is messy, it has ups and downs, and the same can be true with relationships (and not just romantic ones). I have moments where I am so frustrated with my parents, siblings, friends, etc. that I wish I could just replace them, or cut off ties.
These feelings usually pass, but the point is you’re allowed to have them, they’re valid, and the best way to process these problems is by admitting (to yourself, and/or to others) that they’re there.
Romantic relationships are no different: they just carry more stigma. So kudos to you for acknowledging where you are right now- that’s something I wish more people were comfortable doing.”
6. Because crushing on someone else may be an indication that something is lacking in your relationship (or not!)
“It depends on whether you are talking about feelings or physical attraction. A “crush” sounds like something that involves unrequited romantic feelings. I haven't had any feelings like that since I've been with my current partner, so there's nothing to act on.
I think in the past I had crushes on others because there was something really lacking in my relationships (or I wasn't in one at all). Those crushes were more about making it clear to myself what I needed, not actual replacement relationship options.”
5. Because maybe it's time to get out.
“For me, whenever it’s getting to the point where I need to end the relationship. I think I start to focus on/like someone else as an easy way out.”
4. Or not.
“I’ve been with my husband for almost 20 years and still sometimes develop a little crush on a man or woman. Nothing comes of it, enjoying beauty is just part of the joy of life.”
3. Because being attracted to someone and crushing on someone can mean different things.
“What are crushes? Crushes are accidental feelings someone has for another person (i.e. not their partner). This is different from people who seek out relationships via Tinder, etc. Usually they are with a coworker or classmate, because these are people they bump into a lot. They develop a friendship, and either over time or sometimes quite suddenly, they feel they “hit it off.”
They might feel the infatuation so strongly, it's like they are in love again. They probably feel confused and incredibly guilty because they love their partner so much, how could they feel such strong emotions for another person? And for you, it must feel like a huge breach of trust. You gave them their heart, how could they?
I think it happens by accident, and it's normal, and it's hard as shit, but as long as you both truly love each other and truly want to get past it, you can. And your relationship will be that much stronger if you do.”
2. Ultimately, it's all about recognizing and deciding for yourself whether your relationship is falling apart or falling to the wayside because you need an ego boost.
“As a male who's done exactly that while in relationships, i agree. Ive never let my small crushes become anything more than that while with someone. I dont feed into it but i will still appreciate a beautiful woman who i come across or pass by in public.
Ill even note it to my SO openly so she knows im not lusting OVER said woman. Its like me having a celebrity crush. Its more so EYE CANDY to me.
But having a one time thing isnt as meaningful as having someone who you're absolutely head over heels for and want to spend quality forever time with. Someone who turns me on in every way. Thats what im attracted to. Crushes are just that…a one time fling.
As long as you dont feed into them, they pass.
1. And, if the latter, being responsible enough to distance yourself from the object of your newfound affection.
“I'll say what is probably the unpopular answer, but it is my honest answer. In the 7 years I've been in my relationship, I've had crushes. I met my SO when I turned 21, so I've gone through big life changes during our time together.
Combine that with us being semi long distance for literal years and his job being one that takes him away from home for long periods of time, it happened. What you/I do about them is you be honest with yourself and distance yourself from the person.
Unless you're planning to ditch your SO and be with that other person (which probably means it is more than a crush), nothing good comes from keeping a crush around. Nobody has ever come even remotely close to the way I feel for my SO, so I know better.
Like someone else in here said, if you don't nurture a crush it passes. Being a mature adult to me is being able to see compatibility from an objective POV and you're really screwing up if you are willing to play into a crush if the person you're with is truly a compatible match.”
