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25 Signs You Could Seriously Use Some Dick In Your Life

Everyone knows that there are not many things in life as satisfying as a good dose of Vitamin D.

The more we get it, the more we want it. But, as soon as you go through a dry-spell and things are barren down south, we start to see dicks literally everywhere. It’s like those tales of people wandering through a desert and seeing a mirage of a waterfall–we see the things we want the most. It’s no wonder we can’t stop seeing dicks in, well, everything.

25. You just want to give the dog a nice, long stroke.

24. You’re all of a sudden craving a big, fat sweet potato.

23. You can’t stop thinking about how good Christmas at grandmas feels inside you.

22.  You’re craving a nice, juicy, thick piece of meat.

22. You’re starting to enjoy the motions of spraying deodorant.

21. You feel the urge to pop some more cherries.

20. You can’t help but think that the hard-boiled egg isn’t the only egg sprouting.

19. You realize that chair would make for an excellent ride.

18. You see some serious foreshadowing for the rest of your day.

17. You’ve found the perfect way to beat heat stroke.

16. You suddenly want to go to the very tip of a church.

15. You severely want to shove all of these cocktail weiners in your mouth.

Texts From Last Night

Written by Texts From Last Night

Texts From Last Night is a regularly updated blog featuring funny lists, trending stories and re-posts of short text messages submitted by its users.