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The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

21.

Her dad woke me up, told me his daughter had left the house & asked me to hurry up & leave. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on but I followed his requests and left. I sent the girl a text & told her that I found it strange & rude that she had just left me sleeping in her bed while she went out. I get a text where she told me that I had peed all over her room during the night, standing in the bed peeing on the walls & the floor. She told me she had tried to wake me up countless of times during the morning & eventually left because she was all done with me.

22.

My friend told me this story: That friend of him had a one night stand while being completely drunk. They both slept naked. The next morning, he wakes up and wants to go to the bathroom. He then notices he shit in that girls bed while they were both asleep. Now, still completely drunk, he has to think about getting out of that situation smooth. He could’ve just ran away but instead he decided to gently push that girl into his shit. He then cleaned himself and left. Just imagine that girl waking up, remembering she had a one night stand. Then she notices the shit she’s lying on and thinks she has to be the one who shat in the bed and the guy must’ve ran away in disgust.

23.

My friend had a one night stand with a dude she met on tinder. When she woke up she saw that he pissed, shit, blood, and he spit phlegm almost everywhere. Her mirrors were covered in phlegm. Her bed sheets and mattress were soaked in piss and blood. Her couch was soaked in piss. Her carpets were smeared with shit. It cost her thousands of dollars to fix.

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Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.