These 23 Losers Show You How NOT To Use Tinder

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Aw, Tinder — a land of promise and potential baes, casual sex, cocktail hour drinks, and the most derogatory, sexist bullsh*t known to womankind. I don’t know what it is about an online dating platform that makes dudes feel like they can do anything and say anything, but this sh*t has got to stop. And I’m not just talking about your random and harmless off-the-wall pick up line. I’m talking about the gross bros who send you unsolicited d*ck pics and then ask you if they can ram it in your butt hole while you’re dressed up like an avocado. Millennials love avocados, sure, but get the f*ck out of here with that.

Maybe a guy sends you a normal message asking you about your day. You respond. He replies back asking if you’re interested in fitness. “Oh, definitely! I love to run, hike, swim…” But newsflash, ladies! He was just asking if you were interested in “fitness d*ck in your mouth.” Of course — because why would someone actually be interested in learning about your hobbies or likes and dislikes or anything below the surface. And I’m not talking about below the surface of your panties.

Unfortunately, Tinder has laid the groundwork for sh*tty people to beef up their cockiness and tendency for sexism in the worst kinds of ways. And now, more than ever, we must fight against it. And what better way to call these suckers out than to blast them on the internet! Okay, most of them are anonymous — but let this be a warning, bros! Keep your d*cks in your pants and out of her DMs! Stop using awkward and derogatory “jokes” to break the ice. It’s not funny. It will never be funny. And for f*ck’s sake — start looking at women as human beings. We’re not just holes and orifices for you to stick your junk in. K thanks bye.

These are 23 of the worst pick up lines that have ever been used on Tinder:

1. This guy who who’s definitely in the dog house after that poor excuse for a pick up line:

2. Take a f*cking seat, bro.

3. Okay, we get it — millennials love avocados. But like, do we need to role play as them?

4. I can feel Daenerys and every other woman rolling their eyes at the same time.


Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.