Getting blackmailed isn’t always like the movies, but it still stings just as much as any Quentin Tarantino gangster flick. Sure — they might not be asking for millions of dollars or else they’ll murder you and your family, but having someone threaten to leak your nudes all over the internet might as well be a death to your future, job prospects, and relationships.
Maybe it was your jilted ex who can’t seem to move on. You sent him some pictures of your boobs while you were dating (they’re flawless so why wouldn’t you), but now that you’ve gotten a new boyfriend — he’s blackmailing you to be his oral slave. #NOPE
You always knew your neighbors down the hall were a little off, but when they tell you they’re going to the cops to say that you’re a drug pusher unless you give them ten grand — you need to grab them by the balls (and show the cops the text message that shows them blackmailing you). Meth is a helluva drug, y’all.
These 23 people got blackmailed and you won’t believe what happened:
1.
My brother threatened to tell my mom that I had used the Comcast On Demand to watch porn. It was free because we had the premium channels at the time. He made me do all of his chores and kept holding it over my head. After a month, he told me to do something and I told him I was tired of doing his stuff. He said he was going to call our mom at work and tell her. So, I did one better, I called her myself. “Mom?” “Yes?” “About a month ago I watched a porn through On Demand.” “Okay…is it going to show up on the bill?” “No, it was free.” “Okay…uh…just don’t do it again. Okay?” “Okay.” “I’ll be home at 6. Love you, bye.” “Love you too. Bye.” My brother was pissed that I didn’t get punished.
2.
When I was 19 I was sort of dating a girl and we happen to exchange a whole bunch of nudes. When I wanted to move on and see other people she said I can’t and that she would post my nudes on a gay forum with my phone number if I didn’t stay with her. I told her to go ahead and a few days later she sent me an AIM message with all the links to the forums my nudes were posted at. My phone rang for several months from guys looking for a good time. I was really flattered.
3.
Some random 15 year old found the backend IP address for my website via some software exploit and decided to DDoS my website with a botnet for ransom. I was contacted via email with the demands being 0.5 BTC if I wanted to keep my site up. I decided not to pay such ransom and try to figure out who the perpetrator was. (hint: it wasn’t very hard to figure out). The kid accidentally sent the email with his personal GMail account and his full name as the email address + a picture of his face as his profile picture. He also had a public Instagram account with his full name advertising his botnet services. Finally, his parents were also listed in his facebook profile that he had. After I told his parents what he did, the attack on my website magically stopped + all of his social media accounts were deleted, and I never heard from him again. Quite stupid if you ask me.
4.
A man I refused to sleep with threatened to tell everyone that I did sleep with him, unless I did it.
5.
My ex stalked me and told me he would “sell for $5” my naked photos to “dirty old men” if I didn’t get back together with him. I hope those old guys enjoyed the pix.
Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.
