lifestyle

These People Had The Worst Christmas Experiences Ever

13.

Last year around December time I had to have rather uncomfortable surgery on my arse. It took three months to heal and required daily dressing changes so I spent Christmas morning desperately trying NOT to sit in a waiting room at the local walk-in center. I was acutely aware of the fact that I didn’t want to be there and chances are the nurse who would have to change my dressing didn’t want to be there either, so I decided to inject some levity into the situation by writing “Merry Christmas” across my butt cheeks with a sharpie. Turns out my arse is not that big however so I had to make it “Merry Xmas” and since I was doing it with a mirror before leaving it ended up looking more like random squiggles than Christmas cheer. In the end I got a trainee nurse who it turns out had no sense of humor, nor any idea how to change the dressing. I had to lie face down with my Christmas ass on display for twenty minutes while she worked out how to (roughly) pull a ribbon out of my buttock and then another ten minutes while she found someone else to put a new one in.

14.

My boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me by text on the night of Christmas Eve two years ago. It was pretty shit having to smile around my family the next day as if nothing had happened (I’m gay and so my parents didn’t know about the relationship). We ended up getting back together until the following February, when he asked me to step out of the middle of my friend’s party to break up with me.

15.

Last year my sister declared that my going to college was a waste of money and that I should kill myself in-order to ease the stress of our family. Then she made fun of me as I left Christmas dinner in tears. I haven’t spoken to her since.

16.

My entire family came down with the stomach virus, and we were all staying at my grandparent’s house. Everyone just opened presents and went right back to bed to puke an shit themselves all day.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.