entertainment

Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand

13.

How much fuel this machine runs on. I’m 245lbs and exercise regularly don’t be shocked when I eat like it, half the reason I workout is because I love to eat. My wife’s mother is always particularly shocked when we hit a buffet and I get the 2 or 3 more plates than anyone else.

14.

That the bits we pee out of are not like the bits men pee out of. The other day me and some friends were debating whether to hike all the way back to a washroom or just go in the woods. Some dude tells us: “just pee in a push up position!” What the f*ck.

15.

There has to be an area between “too aggressive/too forward/bitchy” or “just not aggressive enough/too passive/pushover”. It’s frustrating when you hear the same woman being described as both too bitchy and too much of a pushover within minutes apart.

16.

Me being angry does not mean I’m on my period. Me being on my period does not mean I’m angry. You saying “Why you angry? You on your period?” will make me angry without a doubt, though.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.