Virgins Were Shocked To Find Out These 21 Things The First Time They Had Sex

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There ain’t no shame in the game in being a virgin. I mean, we were all virgins once. And some of us still are! But if you’re itchin’ for a fixin’ to bump uglies with someone, there are a few things about sex that might shock you during your first time.

Talk to any bro you know, and I’m sure he’ll tell you that he was absolutely shocked to find out just how LOW the vagine was when he was trying to stick it in. Any girl will laugh at you straight in the face and then roll their eyes at how sex education failed you miserably, but ladies — we weren’t sure about some sh*t either.

Just take it from the virgin gal who didn’t really think about just HOW much jizz would come out of her if the dude splooged inside without a condom on. Like, girl — your vag doesn’t just slurp it out like a 7-11 slushie. It has to come out somehow! And that usually means spilling out of you as you waddle to the bathroom while warm semen drips down your leg. Aw, sex — so lovely and romantic.

These 21 virgins were in for the shock of their lives when they realized what having sex was really like:


How warm a vagina felt. Wasn’t expecting that. Compared to the relative coldness of my hand, it was like sticking my dick into a warm jello mold.


How much my legs would be sore the next day. Turns out, staying in missionary position for an extended period of time when you’ve never really put your body in that orientation before works a specific set of muscles that I never really used at the same time before.


Chest farts between bodies. No amount of porn will brace you for them.


How hard it would be to come. Maybe I had jerked off a bunch of times that day, certainly possible. I just remember being shocked I was actually doing it with a hot girl and then being shocked my normally vibrant corn dog was slow on the draw.


How hard it was to insert.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.