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The first time I ever heard someone refer to or call their partner “daddy,” I was kind of put off. I mean, the connotation in my wide, doe-eyes was that anyone who brought up their dad in the bedroom had some major f*cking issues. Oh how young and naive I was.
As the time passed (and as I started religiously following Mark Ruffalo’s instagram account — @markruffalo — you can thank me/wash your panties later), I started to understand the true definition of the term of endearment. By chatting with and researching more about the ladies of the world and Internet who use the term “daddy,” it occurred to me that calling bae “daddy” has nothing to do with their parent and all to do with admiration, kink, and a certain power dynamic. It’s about being turned on by the idea of a sexy man as the boss, El Jefe, the protector of my p*ssy.
Whether it’s the thrill of feeling a bit taboo with your lover or finding the strength and security of an older man — “daddies” all over the world have been making people come (and come and come) for quite some time. So if you’re feeling a little adventurous or want to freak out that new guy you’ve just started sleeping with, slip a “daddy” or two into your dirty talk repertoire. He’ll either jizz in 30 seconds with glee or you might have to stop and have a long, drawn out talk about your latent daddy issues. Either way, it’ll definitely shake things up.
These ladies confess the real reasons why they call their partner “daddy” during sex and it might surprise you: 1. Using the term “Daddy” isn’t about visualizing my literal dad. (Shudder.) Rather, it’s about emulating a power dynamic between a (typically older) stern-but-loving guy and a (typically younger) sometimes-rebellious-but-ultimately-obedient girl. People like these labels because they capture unique nuances about the dynamic. For example, the term “Daddy” implies that the guy is a provider, somebody who lovingly takes care of the girl. It also implies that the girl is relatively innocent. You don’t get that specificity with, say, “Master” and “Slave.” Many people argue “Ew, doesn’t using the term ‘Daddy’ make you think of your father?” My counter is: No. I’m twenty-[x] years old. I haven’t called my father “Daddy” in like two decades. You ever hear one of those 50s songs where the guy calls his love interest “Momma”? It’s sort of like that. 2. It really turns him on, and I love his reaction. (Also probably because I have daddy issues but shhh.) 3. I was dating this girl and she would call me daddy over and over during sex – I didn’t think much of it and was pretty indifferent to how it made me feel. But then our relationship carries on and I met her actual dad And he and i shared a LOT of physical qualities. I looked a great deal like him. So that made me suddenly rethink all the times she called me Daddy while I was balls deep in her. 4. Restrict my airflow, father figure. 5. My ex told me to call him daddy. I obliged because he wanted it and at the time I didn’t care too much for it, but I actually ended up liking it. It was more of a domination thing that I didn’t know I had until I did it, but I was not thinking about me actual dad (really fucking nasty). 6. I’ve never understand the issue with this. It’s a pet name. Ever called someone “baby”? Are you actually thinking about babies when you say that? Same way girls aren’t thinking about their actual dads. 7. My friend told me a story about her and her boyfriend doing the nasty and during it he asked her “who’s your daddy?” I shit you not she screamed her actual dad’s name in the heat of the moment. One of the best stories I’ve ever heard! 8. Dated a guy named Daniel (relevant later) and I tried to spice it up by calling him daddy. He was not turned on and after he asked if I called him daddy and I joked it off and said “nooo, Danny haha” and yeah we didn’t bang after that. 9. I asked my GF this once and she said its because she wanted me to be the daddy Of her children. 10. I said all the time that this was something I “didn’t get.” There was a friend of mine who was by all accounts my type but for some reason I was never that attracted to her. She was objectively pretty, but just wasn’t clicking, for some reason. One day we were talking about this* and I said, “I think it’s so weird.” And she looked at me and said, “You don’t like it daddy?” And my balls jumped and then I got it. 11. My wife seems to have forgotten my real name, it’s been Papi for several years now. Besides, she explained that being called papi is more a term of endearment in Colombia rather than actually meaning “daddy.” 12. My entire sexual life, I’ve always thought this was gross and awkward and the oposite of sexy. Then, I had a baby with my husband. The word took on a whole new meaning and the idea of him being the actual father to my child suddenly made calling him Daddy really sexy and a total turn on. I still think it’s weird, but it works, its our kind of weird. 13. It’s just power/submission kink. It’s not like you’re literally pretending to have sex with your dad, that’s fucking weird. I was always pretty self-conscious about this kink until I let it slip to my boyfriend one time and he happened to be really into it. Don’t knock it till ya try it! 14. As a man it was all good until I heard my daughter say the word for the first time and then the Mrs and me had an impromptu conference and decided it was off the menu. 15. Hi! Woman here! I’ve been very into calling a few of my past partners ‘daddy,’ specifically the ones I view as being more dominant in our relationship. For me it’s the power thing! I’m a control freak normally, and I like being able to go full submissive in the bedroom. Calling him ‘daddy’ is just another term like ‘sir’ or ‘master,’ and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with my actual father or any issues related to him. ‘Daddy’ as a term of sexual submission and respect carries more comforting connotations of trust as opposed to ‘master.’ I think it’s hot, and if my partner does, then hell yea I’ll call him daddy. 16. Because we’re a lesbian couple and it’s fucking hilarious. 17. Cause he asked me to. It’s the same thing as “master” or “sir,” its a power dynamic. But I never call a guy that unless he says it first. 18. Gay guy here. It’s not about pretending my BF is my actual father (eww.) it’s more a term of dominance, like “master” or “sir.” Same way he calls me “baby” and obviously is not referring to me as though I’m an actual infant. 19. It’s akin to roleplay, just a power dynamic thing. It’s a way of expressing, “You’re the alpha, you’re in charge, you boss me around and I have to obey you like a good (girl), you punish me if I disobey or reward me if I’m good.” That’s not universal, but common. It’s super hot, but obviously not for everyone, and OP should be less judgmental. We get it, you think it’s weird. I’ve had a few partners who like to be called Daddy, and it has ABSOLUTELY ZERO to do with anyone’s own father. I’m not calling them “Dad,” which is what I call my real life father. Calling a man Daddy may be a little odd to me if I actually called my father “Daddy,” but I’m sure there are people who do both and it still has nothing to do with her father. 20. I mentioned it to my SO jokingly and eventually we started using it unironically. I think I also find it hot that my SO is being out-of-character during sex because he’s usually pretty reserved irl. 21. We had kids together. We end up referring to each other as Mommy and Daddy most of the day with the kids around, and we’ll affectionately refer to each other as Mommy and Daddy when they’re not around. It’s both comforting and a little arousing because this is something we made each other / achieved together. He wouldn’t be a daddy if I hadn’t had his babies, that kinda thing. As for during sex, it just kinda melts over sometimes. We’re extremely affectionate and playful together, I don’t think we ever really say each others actual names anymore. 22. I do it because it makes him shiver and break out into goosebumps almost every single time. Always tenses up and it’s especially lovely feeling his back and arms flex when I whisper it into his ear. Only downside is sometimes it’s an instant round finisher but oh, well. Ready, round two. 23. My partner and I are in a gay relationship, so I’m not sure that we qualify, but he uses the word the exact same way another in a bdsm relationship might use “master.” It also makes him sound innocent and obedient — which is a little fucked up but eh, it is what it is I guess. The term is kind of neutral for me, but it makes my partner happy and that’s what matters.